Humor
President Bush: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleezza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
President Bush: Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the new leader of China. President Bush: That's what I want to know. Condoleezza Rice: That's what I'm telling you. President Bush: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes.
President Bush: I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu.
President Bush: The guy in China.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu.
President Bush: The new leader of China.
Condoleezza Rice: Hu.
President Bush: The Chinaman!
Condoleezza Rice: Hu is leading China.
President Bush: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condoleezza Rice: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. President Bush: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condoleezza Rice: That's the man's name.
President Bush: That's who's name?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes.
President Bush: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleezza Rice: That's correct.
President Bush: Then who is in China?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Yassir is in China?
Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.
President Bush: Then who is?
Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Yassir?
Condoleezza Rice: No, sir.
President Bush: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?
President Bush: No, thanks.
Condoleezza Rice: You want Kofi?
President Bush: No.
Condoleezza Rice: You don't want Kofi.
President Bush: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condoleezza Rice: Kofi?
President Bush: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condoleezza Rice: And call who?
President Bush: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleezza Rice: Hu is the guy in China.
President Bush: Will you stay out of China?! Condoleezza Rice: Yes, sir.
President Bush: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleezza Rice: Kofi.
President Bush: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Dr. Rice picks up the phone.) Condoleezza Rice: Rice, here.
President Bush: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

Put by: paula 05.12.2007 21:00
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Sarunājas divi kaimiņi:
- Zini, vakar tava žurka bija ielīdusi manā dārzā..
- Bet man nemaz nav žurkas! Man ir taksis.
- Nezinu, nezinu. Pēc mana kaķa domām tā bija žurka...
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:58
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Divas blondīnes stāv autobusa pieturā. Viena gaida 2. autobusu, otra - 7. Atbrauc 27. autobuss.
Viena no blondīnēm:
- Lieliski! Varēsim braukt kopā!
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:55
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Strīds par to, kas ir mīlestība.
Profesors:
- Mīlestība ir slimība, no kuras cilvēks nonāk gultā.
Ārsts:
- Kas nu tā par slimību, ja neviens negrib ārstēties? Nē,
mīlestība ir darbs.
Direktors:
- Kas nu tas par darbu, ja galvenais orgāns stāv? Nē, mīlestība ir
process.
Advokāts:
- Kas nu tas par procesu, ja abas puses ir apmierinātas? Nē,
mīlestība ir māksla.
Gleznotājs:
- Kas nu tā par mākslu, ja to var kurš katrs? Nē, mīlestība ir
zinātne.
Profesors:
- Kas nu tā par zinātni, ja students var, bet es ne?
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:35
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Stomatologa kabinetā pacients izvelk naudasmaku.
Ārsts iebilst:
- Šodien jums nav jāmaksā…
- Es jau arī negrasos maksāt. Gribu tikai pārskaitīt naudu,
pirms man dodat narkozi…
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:30
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- Sāra, kāpēc tu vienmēr noņem brilles, kad tavs līgavainis iet garām?
- Nū... es bez brillēm esmu smukāka, un viņš tad arī.
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:28
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Pacients acu ārstam: - dakter, esmu daltoniķis. Neredzu vienu krāsu.
– Kādu?
– Kā lai es to zinu? Es taču to nekad nēesmu redzējis!
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:25
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Tu zini es vakar stāvu baznīcā klausos mācītāja vārdos.Tu neticēsi! Man blakus viena bāba no somiņas izvelk cigreti un sāk pīpēt.Man gandrīz alus kauss no rokām izkrita!
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:19
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Kuņģī guļ rosols. Pēkšņi- blaukš!- kaut kas viņam uzkrīt uz galvas.
- Kas tu tāds?
- Šņabis!
- Par ko dzēra?
- Par Jāni.
Pēc brīža atkal- blaukš!
- Kas tu tāds?
- Šņabis!
- Par ko dzēra?
- Par Jāni.
Vēl pēc brīža atkal- blaukš! -blaukš! -blaukš!
- Hmm, domā rosols,- par Jāni un par Jāni. Laikam labs cilvēks. Uzkāpšu paskatīties.
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:18
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Divas iereibušas blondīnes strīdās uz tilta:
- Tā ir Daugava!
- Nē, Lielupe!
- Daugava . . . !
- Lielupe . . . !
Strīda karstumā viena novelk drēbes un nolec no tilta.
Pēc brīža atgriežas.
- Nu kurai bija taisnība?
- Nevienai. Tā ir Jūrmalas šoseja.
Put by: Ernests 27.11.2007 14:16
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